Whatever Wednesday: That’s just Bananas!

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

The Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer, where have you been all my life? How could I have been so wasteful of my time, slicing bananas with a plain ol’ knife, when one quick motion cuts an entire banana into perfectly sized pieces. Adding up the years of wasted banana slicing time, it just makes me weep with regret.

There are over 1,700 reviews on amazon for this silly, simple gadget. You’ll laugh ‘till you cry on some of the witty remarks some of the reviewers have left. Here are a couple of my favorites:

5.0 out of 5 stars No more winning for you, Mr. Banana!
For decades I have been trying to come up with an ideal way to slice a banana. "Use a knife!" they say. Well...my parole officer won't allow me to be around knives. "Shoot it with a gun!" Background check...HELLO! I had to resort to carefully attempt to slice those bananas with my bare hands. 99.9% of the time, I would get so frustrated that I just ended up squishing the fruit in my hands and throwing it against the wall in anger. Then, after a fit of banana-induced rage, my parole officer introduced me to this kitchen marvel and my life was changed. No longer consumed by seething anger and animosity towards thick-skinned yellow fruit, I was able to concentrate on my love of theatre and am writing a musical play about two lovers from rival gangs that just try to make it in the world. I think I'll call it South Side Story.
Banana slicer...thanks to you, I see greatness on the horizon.

2.0 out of 5 stars Angle is wrong
I tried the banana slicer and found it unacceptable. As shown in the picture, the slices is curved from left to right. All of my bananas are bent the other way.

5.0 out of 5 stars Saved my marriage
What can I say about the 571B Banana Slicer that hasn't already been said about the wheel, penicillin, or the iPhone.... this is one of the greatest inventions of all time. My husband and I would argue constantly over who had to cut the day's banana slices. It's one of those chores NO ONE wants to do! You know, the old "I spent the entire day rearing OUR children, maybe YOU can pitch in a little and cut these bananas?" and of course, "You think I have the energy to slave over your damn bananas? I worked a 12 hour shift just to come home to THIS?!" These are the things that can destroy an entire relationship. It got to the point where our children could sense the tension. The minute I heard our 6-year-old girl in her bedroom, re-enacting our daily banana fight with her Barbie dolls, I knew we had to make a change. That's when I found the 571B Banana Slicer. Our marriage has never been healthier.


yase said...

tn the US do you slice bananas everyday? Why?

mE said...


Paula said...

This is just so hilarious!!! It should be on YouTube, it would be viral.... there are over 21,000 people on Amazon who voted that first review as 'helpful'.... and there are several of the 14 photos posted there that are just too funny as well!

MissMolly said...

Haha! A friend gave me one of these at least 20 years ago.

MissMolly said...

Haha! A friend gave me one of these at least 20 years ago.

connie said...

You need to put it on fb. Great laugh.

Carol West said...

ha, ha, ha. still smiling. thank you for posting this!

Kristine Porter said...

You have no idea how much I needed that good laugh! Hilarious-- thanks for sharing!

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